The Language of Healing: Finding Words for the Unspeakable

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There are wounds that refuse to speak in complete sentences. They hum beneath the skin, pulsing with memory, waiting for a language tender enough to hold them. For years, I mistook my silence for strength. I believed that if I didn’t name the pain, it couldn’t touch me. But silence, I learned, is its own kind of bruise—one that deepens in the dark.

Writing became my way of translating ache into alphabet. In Nostalgic Tendencies, Idyllic Endeavors & Current Inclinations, I began experimenting with what healing might sound like if given voice. I wasn’t trying to craft perfection; I was trying to survive. Each essay attempted to name something that had long lived without language—the complicated inheritance of womanhood, the confusion of growing up inside both trauma and tenderness, the way love and loss often share the same room.

The alphabetic structure of that book—A to Z—was more than a creative choice. It was a lifeline. Some days, I could only manage a single word: Ache. Anger. Acceptance. Other days, I could stretch into sentences. By giving shape to the unspeakable, I was teaching myself how to live with it. Naming became an act of reclamation; description became a prayer.

Later, in Bedridden & Gutted to Mindful, I found that healing sometimes requires fewer words, not more. Depression dismantled grammar; mindfulness rebuilt it one breath at a time. When I was too exhausted to write paragraphs, I wrote sensations instead: the hum of the refrigerator, the pulse in my wrists, the sparrow outside the window refusing to give up its song. I learned that attention itself is a language—one that says, I see you. I’m still here.

That book explored the intersection between narrative and neurobiology — how the act of observing, naming, and breathing can rewire a weary mind. Where Nostalgic Tendencies dissected the emotional architecture of becoming, Bedridden & Gutted to Mindful was about learning to dwell inside the body again, to replace self-critique with curiosity.

Words, I realized, are not cures. They’re companions. They sit beside the wound, whispering, You are not alone. The act of writing them—or reading them—becomes a ceremony of recognition. There’s something almost sacred about saying the truth out loud, even if it trembles. Because once a story is spoken, it stops being a secret.

Healing, I’ve learned, has its own dialect—part ink, part silence. It’s the pause between paragraphs, the tremor before truth, the deep exhale after naming something that once terrified you. And when we find that dialect—when we learn to speak our pain without fear of breaking the room—something miraculous happens: the language begins to speak us back into being.

Maybe this is why we keep writing, even when it hurts. Because language is how we build a bridge from what was unbearable to what might be beautiful again.

Is jealousy a powerful driver in my life or is it simply a negative emotion?

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I was definitely a jealous child wanting the “normal” that all the other kids had in their lives. Then I turned into a jealous adolescent who wanted to keep the friends I worked so hard to get. It was all a fear-based lie. So, it never lasted. I subscribe to Maslow’s Hierarchy, where one cannot attain a higher level without first establishing a foundation.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

I never had the solid footing to build on as a kid so anything I did socially growing up was a lie. I lied to myself most of all. But like I wrote in a previous post, Karma kicked my butt. For me, I think my physiological needs were met when I was married, not by my ex-husband (Oh, God, NO!), but by starting my family i.e., having my kids. They grounded me. They gave me the need to exist and have a voice. I slept better, ate well (eating disorder went away), exercised more, and read voraciously, predominantly about spirituality. My mind calmed. I saw the marriage for the travesty that it was and strived to get out of it.

Then came safety which I achieved for the kids with the help of many a therapist or the clinic social workers they recommended. One extremely helpful one encouraged me on a path back to college. There is where the honest social relationships came into play. I learned how to be a friend while I was still learning how to be a parent, but I had excellent role models in the social work field. I’d found people in my life who shared my passions and my beliefs.

I still had a chip on my shoulder due to dysfunctional childhood. That disappeared only after a college professor and psychologist told me to write about the pain. I did. And POOF—it was gone! Although, she thought I still buttressed myself with a pseudonym. It took me another decade to extinguish that misrepresentation.

Switching jobs to architectural drafting temporarily for financial reasons gave me the self-esteem I needed. I connected with people and joined groups and took part in conversations to the best my mental health would allow at the time.

That brings me to now, and self-actualization. I’m finally in a spot where gone is the false facade, and in its place honest, safe, successful relationships. Even my mental health is improving. I know it will never go away or be cured; but it’s well-controlled medicinally which clarifies my thoughts and actions. By that I mean the schizophrenia; the OCD is still a security blanket; and the social anxiety still kicks my butt.

So, when I got asked the question: Is jealousy a powerful driver in my life or is it simply a negative emotion? My response is both. Fortunately, it drove me to be a better person. Moreover, I’m able to see it for what it is now, an ugly, negative emotion that needs to be tamped down. It was a lengthy, drawn-out process that had to happen in order to get me to where I am today.