Embodied Imagination Remedy

Embodied Imagination Remedy

embodiedimaginationwork

This creative psychotherapy–embodied imagination–assisted us in visualizing imagery from our dreams as well as memories to work our way through our body. Since dreams are felt as real world experiences, they occur in a world that can be accessed to explore the landscape of that dream world to work through problems. The teacher helped us by talking throughout and asking us to mentally describe the landscape so we could better experience the vivid process.  At that point we felt what we had sensed during the dreaming process. We then explored the symbolism of other people, places or things in our dream. We embodied the different states or perspectives through sensations we had during the dream or memory process. In my case, I used my dreams of being inside lost inside my mind and body where I tried desperately to repair illness. Some group members worked with memories of childhood trauma while others worked with bad dreams of arguments, war, or a cheating spouse.This new awareness changed the way we perceived the dream or memory so that we could better mentally work through our problems in our everyday life by dealing proactively with an approaching negative situation similar to that of our bad dreams.

Crystal Sound Bath Therapy

crystal sound bowl bathMy latest class in sound therapy went well, as expected. I took the class for meditative effects as it makes me sit still for a half hour and helps in calming me down to a relaxed state which lessens my anxiety and counteracts the stressors in my life. Plus I don’t experience tremors (medication side effects) when I’m meditating, at least not the majority of the time. The class began with brief introductions, as it was only a half hour long activity then to an invocation to create sacred space for our activity. Only ten people were in attendance so there was plenty of room to stretch out on the floor in the sanctuary. Most brought their own mats but I had to use the center’s carpet remnants which was still comfortable.

The bowls’ harmonies were extremely calming. Sound and vibrational healing isn’t new (some believe the universe was brought into being by sound), simply not mainstream. The facilitator told us that sound healing is typically done with acoustic instruments or simply the human voice and it is beyond the human ear that our skin and bones (through every cell and atom) conduct vibrations throughout the entire body.

Frosted crystal bowls (pressurized silica sand and water) of various sizes amplify energy and transfer the sounds to our bodies with a synergistic effect that was produced through the different harmonies of the various bowls and the added use of various small musical instruments. The instructor spoke intermittently to tell us what was happening; and in doing so used a tone that harmonized well with the bowls, too.  It was an excellent exercise in mind-body healing (balance and harmony) as it was deeply relaxing, promoted self-awareness, and added some clarity to my day.

Healthcare Power of Attorney

healthcare POAIt was very humbling to appoint my mental healthcare proxy which in my case involves a psychiatric advance directive that gives my appointee the power to make healthcare decisions on my behalf. Our family learned of this through the National Alliance on Mental Illness Minnesota. It was brought to our attention because of my forgetfulness to take my medication as prescribed (on a daily basis). I’m glad I filled out the form though because it makes my wishes known so that I won’t be given treatments of which I’m against. In addition, it also contains instructions on life-sustaining procedures such as Do Not Resuscitate (DNR), dialysis, surgery, pregnancy, and as well as Donor Registry information. In my case, with the medication issue, it is necessary but I’d argue that it should be mandatory for everyone since those are critical decisions that are left up in the air should one not be able to make them.

Outsider in My Own Culture

whereveryougothereyouareWherever I go in public, it seems like I’m an outsider. First of all, I’m part Native American; therefore, I’ve never been considered completely “white”. Secondly, due to my lighter appearance, I’ve never been thought of as American Indian. Then there is where I live–Eden Prairie; it is a special place where I also don’t feel as if I belong. Neighboring suburbs poke fun at Eden Prairie for being too affluent, arrogant and ignorant. And, I don’t know if it is due to my mental illness; but I find myself out of place wherever I go in public, especially so in my own community which is why I take so many classes in adjacent towns like Chanhassen, Bloomington, or Minneapolis.

It makes me think of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book Wherever You Go, There You Are. I’m comfortable in my own skin, just not when I’m around other people where I have to communicate my intentions or opinions. I’m at peace on my own, and very mindful, perhaps too mindful. I’m not looking for a quick fix, as I don’t believe such exist. I’m the type of person who can get too lost in a good book or basking in the moment. Looking inwards can become surreal. So how can I feel like an insider as opposed to an outsider without losing touch with reality? I guess I have to turn back to another book that I frequent, Richard Carlson’s Shortcut through Therapy, which really isn’t a quick fix as the title implies.  His simple yet profound ten steps keep me from those radical “thought tornadoes” (thinking traps) as Kathy Emerson-Marshall of the National Resiliency Resource Center refers to them. My favorites of Richard Carlson’s steps are: “know your own mood, letting go of negative mind-states, count your blessings, and now is the time to live”. Doing all of his ten things, especially counting my blessings such as the connectedness of my immediate family and support structure is what gets me from one day to the next.

Do you prefer being called schizophrenic or mentally ill?

mentallyhealthyI was asked this question yesterday and I was quite uncertain as to how I felt about the terminology in that given moment. After some thought, I’m not concerned about how others refer to me. Their words would be a reflection upon them and not me. I do recognize that I have a chronic mental illness which requires ongoing medication and my diagnosis is schizophrenia. I’m also quite aware of the stigma of such terms and that others in my situation have strong preferences such as being called clients at the upscale psychiatric office where I’m seen. Obviously, the hospital refers to us as patients but when in doubt ask the person who is affected. They/I/We are human and like any other would appreciate the opportunity for input in the matter. Plus, we may want the chance to get it out there on the table instead of hiding it from our everyday life.

Are all nervous breakdowns psychotic?

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During my psychotic break, I was hallucinating visions and voices as well as deep in delusion. I was seeing a dead woman in my house as well as my deceased grandma and aunt. In addition, I thought I could walk through as well as see and hear through walls to my adjacent neighbors townhouse. Plus, I was deep in paranoia in thinking someone was following me wherever I went. In comparison, I’ve known friends and had relatives who had a nervous breakdown that wasn’t psychotic. Their break was like a really bad panic attack to the point of confusion and disorientation. They felt like they were having a heart attack but didn’t have hallucinations or weren’t delusional. I was prescribed anti-psychotics such as Seroquel while they were prescribed sedatives like Valium.  They recovered within a weeks time and were back to normal. I, on the other hand, have to remain on anti-psychotic and anti-depressant medications indefinitely. I’m not a doctor but I do think there was a difference between a psychotic break and a nervous breakdown. Someone that thinks they are experiencing either should seek help immediately to determine if it is a heart attack, nervous breakdown, or psychotic break!

Another Ending…I Mean New Beginning

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In September, we will embark on the next stage in our lives. Our four kids are now young adults. One has graduated from college and the other three will be college students (one freshmen and two sophomore). This is a stressful time for me because I have to hope that we raised them well and they’ll succeed out on their own. For this reason, my meds will be temporarily increased due to stressors involved in getting the last one out and on her way. She is overjoyed but It is both a sad and happy time for us! At this time, my support network including group work will play an integral role in my recovery. I need to slow down and be mindful of all that I have to be thankful for, including my faith, meds, family, and support structure. Stopping to admire and photograph nature will be key in calming me during this transition. Taking this change in gradually is not an option for me this time, unless someone knows something that I do not. Change isn’t always easy for me. My nest is empty and I’ll just have to manage the best that I can with all that I have going for me.

EmptyNest

Looking Onward and Upward

looking upwardIt’s August already…Spring and Summer went by quickly. Autumn is approaching and is typically the time of endings (gardening, summer sports, vacations, and the Fair); but I’d rather think of it as new beginnings. So many new classes start up in the Fall. Whether it is credit related or simply for enjoyment, the community offers so many options. In addition to my mental health and resiliency related coursework, I’ve also signed up for arts (pointillism, surrealism, and expressionism) and crafts (Fused Glass Studio & Combining Thrown and Handbuilt Pieces) type classes. Being located in Eden Prairie offers the benefit of both local arts classes plus nature-based classes at the University of Minnesota’s Landscape Arboretum in nearby Chanhassen where there are a restaurant, art gallery, gorgeous gardens,  hardy woodlands, wetlands and spectacular prairies to hike through on their 12.5 miles of paths. I really enjoy stress free time here in addition to their lecture series.

The last class that I took there was Therapeutic Horticulture where we learned about biophilia (the instinctive connection between humans and nature) and different therapies for a variety of illnesses or disorders. That class on the psychological orientation towards nature was for credit. This time around I’ll be taking Make and Take Stone Sculptures and Autumn Botanical Arrangements as well as an August class in Fire in the Garden Grilling (Beyond the Barbequed Burger) and hopefully some “greenlist” classes which are spur of the moment type class offerings that occur within the day or week of being posted. These classes don’t even make it into the calendar because they are so short notice. I prefer them because less people show up. However, I do like getting lost in a crowd where others are the center of attention.

These classes are so inexpensive with membership plus they help one socialize in a structured atmosphere which I prefer because then I don’t necessarily have to speak when I don’t want to; instead, it is instructor driven with question and answers, usually by only a handful of the participants. I really enjoy that plus it benefits me with my schizophrenia in that I get to use fine motor skills, as well as the socialization factor and the fact that I have to sit still for a prolonged period of time. Staying still is a difficulty for me but I’m working towards a solution with these classes plus I hope these will decrease my overt/positive (delusions, hallucinations, and social disinhibition) symptoms even more so that I can be listed as in remission (six months symptom free w/ the aid of medications).

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