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Angela Grey is a writer with paranoid schizophrenia, OCD, PTSD, and social anxiety. She has created memorable moving tales about the sometimes unexpected and challenging road to first love: Secret Whispers (a story about schizophrenia), Déjà vu (a tale about a teen with bipolar disorder), and Of Laughter & Heartbreak (a piece about obsessive-compulsive disorder).

Until my next post, why not check out my YA novels about mental illness, memoir writing, novel in verse, or even my Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Bookshop, TwitterInstagramFacebookGoodreadsLinkedInBookbub , BookSprout, or AllAuthor.

Book review: Challenger Deep by Neal Schusterman

Thorndike Press, 2015

In recent years, mental health has become a rising issue in society, especially in youth. This story details mental illness, schizophrenia to be exact, showing real ups and down, not glamorizing it, and giving a real depth to it that is truly sad at times.

The narrative follows fifteen-year-old Caden on his journey to both the lowest point on earth and recovery. As a result of his mental illness, Caden seemingly lives in two separate worlds, one being the real world, and the other on a ship under the direction of a Captain.

This boy is written in a way that can also be understood by a younger audience as a YA novel that could also be read by mature primary aged readers. At the start of the novel, Caden’s parents try to cure his paranoia and anxiety through hobbies. As his schizophrenia worsens, Caden is hospitalized where he meets other teens, who all suffer from a variety of mental illnesses. It’s a potent, realistic, relatable narrative that connects to readers because of the utter honesty of one struggling with mental illness.

I recommend it to increase awareness of schizophrenia and those that struggle with it because it encapsulates the emotions of everyone involved.

Mental Illness Struggles by Decade

mental health

In my twenties, after getting over the years of low self-esteem in my adolescence, which came about through parenting and realizing what really matters in life, I noticed changes first in college seeking my Associate’s degree. I began thinking someone followed me throughout my days and into the night. Paranoia also set in big time. The voices and hallucinations started slowly and, at that time, were indecipherable. Did I know something was wrong? Yes. However, I knew I couldn’t remain married to an alcoholic any longer and filed for divorce while my four children were preschool age. With that came worries about custody, so I kept my illness to myself.

The thirties brought security in my relationship in the form of Robert. I knew I’d met the love of my life and didn’t want to lose him. My jealousy turned into hallucinations, which I felt a subsequent loss of control with as days progressed. This brought about disagreements and strife. Custody issues permeated my thoughts. So I kept my illness to myself. I’d returned to college for drafting, as well as the goal of a Bachelor’s degree.

During my forties, I was deep in hallucinations. Any anxiety brought about a deeper delve into madness. This also was the start of social anxiety disorder. I think that came roughly due to the fear of being found out. I started taking more online classes for the generals. I only stepped foot in a classroom if it was through the U of M’s Center for Spirituality and Healing, such as yoga, MBSR, or other overall wellness-related topics.

Alas, the start of the fifties. Am I really this old? I don’t feel it. This time is pretty much entrenched upon the adage: Life begins at the edge of one’s comfort zone. I don’t know where I heard that, but it rings true.

For this reason, I push myself to remain part of society, and not hide away in my writing cave, in hopes of attaining real enjoyment despite discomfort to achieve such new experiences. Coming to grips with my intuition, which in turn configures new perspectives, thereby helps me conquers fears. Although it’s easier said than done…

Negative Media Portrayals

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Contrary to negative media portrayals, not all schizophrenics are spree killers or homeless. I’m an residential drafter which means that I draw up house plans. I work for an engineer as well as area builders. When I’m doing projects for the engineer, I’m just a draftsperson; but when I work for the builders I’m more of a designer and have more input. This is the perfect job for somebody that has social anxiety as I get emailed the measurements and specifications then I work from home. Rarely do I need to go out to the jobsite, and that is how my employers like it. They do all the measuring and talking with the clients and I just follow up with the work. When I’m done, I plot the drawings then send them up for print and send the builder or engineer the pdfs. Nobody wants or needs to see me and likewise. They describe me as quirky. I don’t think they know what exactly is my mental illness; but I suspect they know something is up with me. On the rare occasion when I did have to go out to the jobsite, I shied away from the homeowner. I think it was rather noticeable. Nevertheless, I’m not a spree killer nor am I homeless. My family also describes me as quirky but functional.

Blurred Voices (Schizophrenia)

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The above picture is the best glimpse that I can give you as to what schizophrenia is like for me. My son and his girlfriend had to move in with us for a short time until they can get an apartment they like. So they are living in my basement which is difficult because she is like a stranger to me. And that sets off my positive and negative symptoms. When she touches my things or rearranges stuff then I can see voices and there are so many it is like a crowd of people around me all clamoring for attention. Hopefully, they will only be here for a few more days instead of the month that they asked for earlier.

Exercise and Schizophrenia

angela grey treadmill

My new treadmill arrived and my family thinks that I’ll be similar to a hamster on a wheel. I love it. It has one touch incline and speed controls and a really quiet motor It only took us an hour and a half to assemble. I’m so excited. Now I just have to figure out what to do with iFit. The above image is from the brochure website.

Regarding schizophrenia and exercise, patients can be more lethargic but that is typically the medication side effects. When I was on a higher dose of Seroquel, I just sat around and had the munchies for days. Abilify (aripiprazole) teamed with Wellbutrin (buproprion) changed that so now I’m constantly moving around from situation to distraction.My doctor worked with me on changing the medication amounts considering I’ve had an eating disorder and am opposed to any such weight gain.

Patients with schizophrenia do tend to gain some weight due to the meds as well as have metabolic problems and thereby also have an increased risk for heart disease and stroke.Diet, lowering cholesterol and blood pressure, as well as controlling diabetes, high blood sugar levels and lipids in the diet are the main treatments.  But exercise does double duty by reducing weight gain as well as stress. To make matters worse for the person with schizophrenia, negative symptoms can interfere with motivation to exercise. But with my new treadmill, I’m doubly motivated.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

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This will be my last week of cognitive behavioral therapy. I only tried it because my family pleaded but due to time and expense it is no longer an option. Plus I don’t think that I’m in that category of those whom it helps the most. CBT is a common adjunct to meds when the person with schizophrenia is stabilized but continues to have a baseline of functional disturbances. It is commonly done with exercises out of a workbook given to the client by the psychotherapist. CBT has both behavioral and cognitive aspects.

cognitive behavior therapy

Regarding behavior, CBT is supposed to weaken the mental connection to troublesome situations and thereby altering the reactions (fear, depression or anger). The cognitive component of CBT targets thought patterns and seeks to alter the emotional state and corresponding behaviors. My psychotherapist worked with me to make me aware of my irrational beliefs and alter them through cognitive restructuring (behavior modification). I did cognitive rehearsal and practiced different responses to different situations that I encountered. Not only did I have workbook exercises but I also was required to journal which this blogging assisted with over the time I tried out CBT. Overall the positive reinforcement and systematic desensitization helped me learn new tactics to handle my illness.

Magnetic Resonance Imaging

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At my request, my doctor set me up for an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging). I wanted to know more about the course of my illness and the prognosis. So he set me up for the MRI to determine a baseline point and then monitor how it changes down the line.

schizophrenia

My doctor said the above image shows a schizophrenic brain on the right as compared to a normal brain on the left. The gray matter (neuronal cells) and the white matter (fibrous connections) are shown. Volume is a major difference. With schizophrenia there are enlarged ventricles and reduced gray matter. There is also reduced volume in the temporal lobes and hippocampus which affect auditory processing, language and memory. I’m glad we chose to do the MRI because I want to know the structural and functional findings so it helps them consider what the possible outcome might be.