Category: mental illness

Book review: All the Things We Never Said by Yasmin Rahman

Hot Key, 2019

As soon as I read the subject matter of this boldly designed book, I knew that I had to devour it. It’s a character driven; UK Young Adult contemporary novel based on mental health. Not to be disappointed when I began reading, I was drawn into the stories of the three girls. I loved the author’s note at the beginning which really set the tone for the book.

The book tells the story of 3 young girls from 3 very different lives, but they all have one sad fact in common, the want to die.  As a result the girls each sign up to a website that is designed to pair people with other people who want to die. But it is this pack that brings the 3 girls together and allows them to find the support that they each needed. 

As I learnt more about why Mehreen, Olivia and Cara had joined MementoMori. I really began to connect and empathize with the diverse characters which weren’t the sole focus of the story and didn’t define the characters entirely. Mehreen’s religion was an important factor, but she was so much more than just that and was such a real character that, despite me being from a totally different background, I could relate. I found it to be the same with all the characters and that was something that I think Yasmin really excelled at with this novel and its unusual typeface

So, the website sets a time place and course of death for the girls, and as the date of termination (as it is referred to) approaches the girls have to complete a task that is set and send photographic proof. The first 2 tasks the girls do with easy, but it is when the 3rd task arrives that the girls admit that they have changed their minds. 

The problem is the website doesn’t want to let the girls out. After all, they signed up and agreed to the terms and conditions. Pushing the girls to their breaking point the girls begin to crumble and turn on each other.  

This is an interesting book, but as I first mentioned you need to be careful when reading this story as it is an emotional and mental journey. It has to be noted that this book contains many triggers, for those that vulnerable to such material. Topics touched upon, besides suicide, include self-harm, rape and severe anxiety and depression. I personally was okay with all of these and found that they were handled very sensitively and not in a way that made for uncomfortable reading.

All the Things We Never Said is not a typical YA book. I believe that it is a book that can help to open dialogue and get people talking about their feelings and issues, instead of hiding behind a mask that so many people use today to hide how they are truly feeling.

This book highlights the importance of speaking, talking about your problems, and how you are feeling. As it is through these actions, the characters realize that they are not alone and that the simple act of talking to someone openly and honestly can change your perspective.

An audiobook is also available for those that may have issues with the typeface.

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Book review: Impulse by Ellen Hopkins

Margaret K. McElderry Books, 2007

Three teens who meet at Reno, Nevada’s Aspen Springs mental hospital after each has attempted suicide connect with each other in a way they never have with their parents or anyone else in their lives. This was a very good book, well-written in free verse format, that described the repercussions of suicide.

Their distinct character’s lives unfold in alternating chapters which might be confusing at times remembering whose mind you’re in. The dynamic of the 3 characters was also a little confusing because the 2 boys were supposed to be gay, but then fell in love with Vanessa.

SPOILER ALERT:

I blame the parents for what happens to Conner. after his sister read the letter I got the sense that he was going to kill himself because that letter screamed you have to be perfect when the reason he killed himself is because he wasn’t perfect. Nobody’s perfect. And his mother never seemed to think it was her fault, she just thought going to a mental hospital could fix him, but its hard to fix someone who felt empty inside to begin. I wonder if she really loved her son at all. I’ve got to say I like the father more; he is also to blame but I think he was a really good person inside, deep down but he just didn’t know how to show it and that’s why he was so distant.

The story was interesting from the very beginning, easy to read, realistic, and connectable. There wasn’t a moment where I didn’t feel close to the characters!

Ellen Hopkins writes in such a unique format. The books may be thick but don’t let that stop you. Her books just flow along about serious issues and get right to the heart of the topics, no matter she chooses to write on. The characters are so well explored and distinct. I’d recommend this for those who like darker YA fiction about mental illness.

Book review: Underwater by Marisa Reichardt

Farrar Straus Giroux, 2016

High school junior Morgan Grant can divide her life into two parts: Before and after the devastating events of October 15. Before, Morgan was a bright, popular athlete with a promising future, whose days were filled with friends, sun, sand, swimming and school. After, Morgan is a survivor of a deadly tragedy whose worsening anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder have caused her to become a shadow of her former self.

Traumatized by what she has experienced, terrified of a world she can neither control nor predict, and haunted by feelings of guilt and culpability for what has happened, Morgan’s agoraphobia worsens until she no longer is able to leave her family’s two-bedroom apartment and she seeks comfort in a familiar, daily routine filled with little more than soap operas, home schooling, and grilled cheese sandwiches. Underwater is a sincere, heartfelt exploration of mental illness and a topical, all too important reminder that the story does not end when the final shot has been fired and the cameras finished rolling. For some, the story has only just begun.

Morgan’s journey to recovery is a difficult one. This YA author offers no easy answers or simple solutions for Morgan’s agoraphobia, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder, but rather demonstrates the impressive mental and emotional labor and strength required to rediscover and remake oneself in the wake of a tragedy. Though Morgan’s progress is gradual and she often becomes frustrated with her missteps and failures along the way, Reichardt’s inherently charming and endearing protagonist is never presented as any less worthy of help, love or acceptance or as being beyond hope or recovery. Morgan is allowed to shine in other ways, most notable of which is evident in her devoted relationship with her single mother, a hard-working nurse, and her precocious younger brother, Ben, for whom she clearly cares deeply. Though the circumstances surrounding Morgan’s illness and the severity of what she suffers are arguably extreme, there’s little doubt that the essence of Morgan’s story – of being unashamed of one’s illness and working to better take care of oneself – will resonate with Underwater‘s readers, particularly those who also suffer from anxiety, as Morgan does.

There have been many novels written the about the subject of school shootings in recent years. Many writers have tried to make sense of an act that is, by its very nature, senseless, but what’s different about Underwater from its peers is its chosen focus. While other stories have focused largely on the psychology and motivation of the perpetrator or the details of the shootings themselves, debut author Marisa Reichardt instead chooses to focus on the devastating aftermath of such an event. Reichardt neither sensationalizes nor exploits this topic, instead offering a sensitive, empathetic portrayal of the repercussions of such a tragedy. In doing so, Underwater has the potential to act as a source of comfort for those who suffer from anxiety, agoraphobia and/or post-traumatic stress disorder and an excellent resource for readers who wish to better understand and empathize with those who do.

Underwater‘s synopsis does the novel a disservice in that it implies that Morgan’s recovery is mainly due to Evan’s appearance in her life. In reality, this could not be further from the truth. While a potential romantic relationship with Evan can provide Morgan with an additional incentive to pursue treatment and regain some semblance of normality, it is not the sole motivating factor in her recovery. Before Evan’s introduction, Morgan had already been undergoing treatment for her anxiety, agoraphobia, and post-traumatic stress disorder for four months. This treatment includes both the use of prescription medication and ongoing therapy with her psychologist, Brenda. Evan is not perfect–Evan grows frustrated and impatient with Morgan’s progress (or lack thereof) and is not always as supportive or as understanding as one might hope–but it’s to be commended that their blossoming romance is never presented as a solution to Morgan’s problems. There’s also something to be said for the strength and empowerment that can be drawn from a strong support system and the grandness in forming such a community. From her burgeoning relationship with Evan to her unconditional love for her mother and brother, Ben, Morgan has several positive relationships in her life from which she draws comfort and courage.

Underwater is a poignant, powerful, and ultimately uplifting and inspiring story of recovery and forgiveness that successfully attempts to lessen the stigma surrounding mental illness. It accomplishes this by providing readers with a positive and responsible portrayal of therapy and medication as effective tools in managing mental and emotional trauma and encouraging readers to embrace hope and possibility, even in the face of what might initially appear to be insurmountable obstacles. This YA novel is a genuinely kind and heartwarming narrative about triumph and love in the wake of adversity. 

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety disorder (social phobia) is a chronic mental health condition in which social interactions cause irrational anxiety and fear. Social anxiety disorder typically begins in the teenage years, though it can sometimes start in younger children or in adults.

Photo by Yan Krukov on Pexels.com

If we consider the statistics, according to the National Institute of Mental Health social anxiety is more common among women than men, and approximately 12.1% of U.S. adults experience a social anxiety disorder at some time in their lives. That means that 12 adults in every hundred, struggle with social anxiety, and these numbers are growing every year.

So how can you tell if you’ve got social anxiety? Some of the symptoms are:

  1. avoiding social situations
  2. cancelling plans abruptly
  3. immense guilt when you cancel plans
  4. needing alcohol to face social situations
  5. feeling like you can’t participate
  6. dreading social situations
  7. dreading being outside your safe space (home)
  8. missing school or work due to anxiety
  9. worrying about perceptions of you
  10. overthinking things to say or do
  11. blushing or reddened face
  12. excessive sweating
  13. fast heartbeat when in social situations
  14. talking to strangers
  15. going on dates
  16. meeting new people
  17. making phone calls
  18. making eye contact
  19. using public restrooms
  20. isolating yourself
  21. dizziness in public
  22. muscle tension or twitches when social
  23. stomach trouble when social
  24. dry mouth or throat

At one time or another I’ve experienced many of these. Why? I believe it’s a combination of genetic and environmental factors at play.

The good news is that social anxiety responds very well to medication management; at least for me it has.

If you experience these symptoms for a prolonged period of time, do yourself a favor and seek therapy. No one should have to suffer when there are treatments available to at least alleviate some of the symptoms.

Book review: Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella

Delacorte Press, 2015

Fourteen-year-old British teen Audrey is making slow but steady progress dealing with her anxiety disorder, which she developed after a car accident and tremendously difficult bullying. This mysterious altercation(s) with the mean girls at her school has sent her deep into an anxiety spiral so her life has changed dramatically since she has been battling depression and anxiety disorders. She is now always wearing dark sunglasses, unable to leave the house, doesn’t attend school, and has an attack if she talks to anyone besides her family. Audrey records what goes on in her house since she has a very hard time going outside and the drama of her family. Her brother Linus’ friend comes into the picture, and her recovery gains momentum.

This YA romance novel with excellent dialogue was a witty and sassy quick read. It showed us the recovery from mental illness as opposed to the descent into it that many others reveal. Her dysfunctional family provided some comic relief, even though the author kept the mental illness topic gentler and more lightweight than other books on the same subject.

It was a lighthearted, limited angst, ofttimes humorous story about teen life, anxiety, first love, and family love that discussed mental health therapy techniques, but I’d have loved to hear more of the backstory that caused her the issues the book talks about.

Book review: All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

Alfred A. Knopf, 2015

Violet and Finch both attend the same high school, and their first encounter takes place atop the Bell Tower, where Violet attempts suicide after surviving a car accident that kills her sister. Finch, a troubled kid with an abusive father, arrives there with the same intention but he saves her. This heartfelt YA fiction is about Violet and Finch’s friendship, love and mental illness. She’s the popular kid and an online blogger; he is the high school weirdo.

Violet struggles with survivor’s guilt and her parents refuse to acknowledge her trauma. Finch is quirky, fun, tortured, misunderstood, poor, easy to pity child bursting with originality, vigor, and enthusiasm. 

Violet and Finch are forced together to work on a school project where they must explore Indiana. Finch, with his carefree, spontaneous attitude, takes the assignment to heart and they set out to find all of the bright places in Indiana. In doing so they explore their relationship.

The book, similar in tone to The Fault in Our Stars, explores falling in love and that same love but fading some months later. The two characters try to fix each other but Violet is filled with regret and Finch is obsessed with death which the novel continuously explores. Ultimately, I agree with one of the reviewer’s blurbs at the front of the book that said something to the effect of this book isn’t meant for those suffering with mental illness but instead their friends.

Book review: Essential Maps for the Lost by Deb Caletti

Publisher: Simon Pulse, 2016

How do you go about getting lost? Answer: “There are many ways to be lost.”

The protagonist in Essential Maps for the Lost wants to escape herself. Why? It’s summer, one last summer in Seattle, away from her mom, a realtor, who expects more from her daughter, Mads (Madison) Murray, that she can give. Mads future has been planned for her, it’s a real estate career with her mother unlike the college path that Mads so desires. In order to make her mom happy, Mads stays with her aunt, uncle, and cousin during the summer while taking real estate classes. Then after the brief real estate curriculum at the local college Mads will go home and sign the paperwork making her a partner with her mom.

Do you think you’re having a bad day? Well, Mads, out for a morning swim collides with a dead body. The shocking discovery is of another lost soul who did the imaginable on one traumatic morning. The body of the woman was the mom to Billy Youngwolf Floyd, a grieving young man struggling to bypass the shadow of grief that encapsulates him as he carries a map in his pocket. It’s from his favorite children’s book: From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.

Mads is obsessed with the dead woman and sets about to stalk her son: Googling the deceased, finding out from where she came, her home, and her family. That is the junction where questions, coincidences, and secrets come into play. Billy, who moves in with his grandmother, is full of questions. He is lost and confused. Billy, who works for an animal shelter, focuses on the only things that makes him feel better: that map from the book.

Billy and Mads, as well as Billy’s grandma, are full of depth, with wonderful personalities, and tangled emotions, albeit the grandma is a bit cranky. Despite the tragedy these characters work really well together and even the minor characters feel real.

So, Billy runs into Mads, who is standing outside his old house. What’s weird is he keeps running into her at random times, like on a bridge, where Billy thinks Mads might be thinking about jumping. They both wonder if they were supposed to meet? Fall in love? Madison wakes up to the world around her and she starts to notice other coincidences, like witnessing Billy commit a crime.

Mads obsession with the dead body, Billy’s deceased mom continues. But she can’t tell Billy that she’s the one that found the body. This book is really about how life can be unfair and cruel, how what you say and how you treat people (and animals) can be the difference between life and death, and how the opinions and hopes of your family members can be hard to deal with and how you can find hope in unexpected places.

This YA novel had a lot of substance to it such as self-discovery and finding out what you really want out of life. With beautiful, lyrical, sometimes witty writing, and pacing on the slower side, you’ll find it a touching read where love needs no reasons. Essential Maps for the Lost is an emotionally significant exploration of grief, mental illness, and hope, as well as the redemptive power of storytelling.

If I was appointed to give a speech to a large number of people, what topic would I choose?

The stigma of mental illness is the topic I’d choose. Because shame from bullying or even a simple lack of understanding of persons with mental illness is very detrimental to the health of those affected as well as our communities. It leaves the person with mental illness doubting themselves and backing off from social interaction to avoid the feeling of hopelessness and end up in isolation.

Instead, the person with mental illness should try to be social as opposed to isolation. Even connecting online, if in-person is not an option, in order to realize that these feelings are not just your own, but others feel them as well.  Don’t allow your mental illness to define you because there is power in language. Don’t allow ignorance to influence how you see yourself. Don’t allow the judgments of others affect you personally; the wrongdoers don’t even know you.

I’d choose to speak about this subject, if I had to, to bring about change. Change to a neutral language instead of condescending euphemisms and offensive language. We’re not victims, invalids, or defective. Those are painful to hear but need to be talked about so those ignorant about mental illnesses know it’s wrong and hurtful. Disability is not an illness and people with disabilities are not patients. We’re successful people that deserve to be referred to in a balanced manner. Our lives are not simply tearjerkers. We are resilient and deserve to be free of stigma.