Tag: suicide

Book review: Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

Greenwillow Books, 2017

Eighteen-year-old Eliza Mirk straddles two worlds: in real life, she’s a shy and friendless high school student, but online, she is known as LadyConstellation, anonymous creator of the highly popular webcomic: Monstrous Sea. Eliza finds so much joy online that there’s hardly any joy left for her life offline. She lost herself in the world and characters she created, and it was so much easier for her to remain cocooned in her imaginary world than challenge herself to make real-life connections. But when Wallace Warland transfers to Eliza’s school, he reveals himself to be Monstrous Sea’s biggest fanfiction writer, rainmaker. Though Wallace and Eliza grow close and bond over their love for Monstrous Sea, Eliza struggles with revealing her own identity as the creator of the webcomic.

Wallace even begins to draw Eliza out of her shell. After a series of strange events threaten to expose everything, she’s worked to keep hidden, Eliza finds that her world has begun to crumble around her. She deals with anxiety, depression, and overwhelming pressure as she tries to learn how to reconcile the two halves of her life that seem so far apart. She lives in her comics and her dedication to her creation and her fandom borders on an unhealthy obsession as she treads the boundaries between her online presence and reality.

Shyness, escapism, obsession, and low self-worth were all very relatable in this story. It’s a great look at the messiness of love when depression and low self-esteem get in the way of communication. This heartbreaking, quick read is also worth reading for parents that are wondering, no, struggling to understand why your teen is a part of a fandom. The book has little drawings and stories from her webcomic throughout, making it more interactive and engaging. It’s delving into PTSD, anxiety, and depression is a trigger warning for this near tearjerker about teen angst and romance.

Suicidal Tendencies

Hi, my name is Angie Grey and I attempted suicide at the age of seventeen while I was pregnant. It was within six months after being released from the psychiatric ward. I jumped off a train bridge in Bismarck, North Dakota and was rescued by a boater in the water beneath me. I didn’t realize how lucky I was for him to be there that late at night because I didn’t know how to swim and was sure to die. For a long while, I was okay with living up until May of 2009. At that point, I had a suicide date in mind. Fortunately for me, I found Pathways Health Crisis Center in Minneapolis. At that time, my next door neighbor, Angela had committed suicide and I was in full blown delusion. For years, the dead woman living in my home urged me to take my life just as she did my neighbor. My grandiosity was that I could see through walls to the adjacent townhome. I saw my neighbor laying in her bathtub, with pill bottles and a bottle of wine in hand. All the while, the dead woman who lives inside my home was telling me that life wasn’t worth living. Most recently, during my psychotic break, the dead woman said my new neighbor is planning on taking his life too; but this time it will be with a gun and due to the constant hip pain he is experiencing. She (the dead woman) continued to tell me and show me how obvious it is that life isn’t worth living. Look at all the suffering. Thanks to my medicine, I see this isn’t real. Fortunately for me, I have a strong support network and Pathways as well. I feel bad for the others that don’t!