Category: depression

Regarding Letters to the Author

There’ve been a few letters from young adults that I’ve put on the back burner over the last six months, but the similarities between them don’t seem to decrease, as with the latest of this week. With this latest one, I wanted to strongly encourage anyone going through similar situations to talk to an adult or call a helpline and speak to anyone who will listen. The National Sexual Assault Hotline has confidential (anonymous) help 24/7 and can be reached at 1.800.656.4673 or find them at online.rainn.org.

My story revealed in the above two books only ended after intervention with kindhearted first responders and social workers. There is a way out of that dysfunction, and it might not be the way those involved in your situation may be suggesting, so please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline.

Regarding the recurring theme of forgiveness, I believe I’ve forgiven my stepfather(s) and my mother for choosing him and turning her back on her daughter. As it was pointed out in two of the letters from you readers that I received earlier this year, if I genuinely forgave them, then I should be able to reconnect with my birth family. I’ve heard that before, too. That’s not always the case. I wish all of them the best and that the light of God/Creator shines down on them abundantly. I just don’t have the mental fortitude to put myself in their presence or that environment. Each person in similar situations will be able to handle things better or worse to varying degrees. Just because they tell you to forgive them and get over it doesn’t mean you can or should without outside intervention in the form of the National Sexual Assault Hotline, teachers, therapists, or social workers, especially not if you’re underage. And yes, seventeen is still a minor. Don’t listen to anyone that tells you that you’re an adult and should buck up.

I appreciate the letters and emails I receive about the wide variety of topics and apologize for not addressing this subject matter sooner. Mental fortitude affected my lack of words to tackle the weight of this matter until this most recent connection made it a necessity.

Depression vs. Expression

I attended a class at Pathways Mental Health Crisis Center in uptown Minneapolis about healing the body from trauma, judgment, guilt, pain, anger, or resentments. I learned many things like you need to liberate yourself from guilt and shame by embracing the pain because you battled it and won. For example, if you were abused, acknowledge the vulnerable remains within your body and move forward. According to one of the many texts we delved into was The Secret by Rhonda Byrne who says something to the effect of what you pay attention to grows stronger so acknowledge the guilt and shame but don’t drown yourself in pain. If its grief holding you back, acknowledge that life is for the living and the spirit of those that have passed stays with you. So, they are never far away; they bathe you in strength.

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If there’s a project, illness, or relationship that makes you feel confined address it then return with the attitude of awareness and cooperation even if it isn’t the case. You can’t make “them” or “it” liberate you; you must do it yourself. That doesn’t mean quit, ignore your body, or leave the other person, just be aware and mentally cooperate with the tension. If it leaves you frustrated, imagine your utmost self thriving and evolving. Refuse to be stunted, welcome growth and new change.

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Don’t live in distress because it causes the body to remain in a state of depression or regression and it can cause or agitate illness. If it’s stress, embrace the experience and grow from it. If it’s an irrational, obnoxious, or arrogant person, step back and think about what has their presence in your life sought to teach you. Refuse to judge negatively whether it be a person, thing, or experience. Confront any suffering and liberate yourself from the pain afterward.

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Use resilience to avoid being stuck in denial and delusion because it’s temporary and you’re strong enough to see that truth. Think about how far you’ve come and refuse to be discouraged with what you accomplished. Greet the future you with hopeful curiosity. Imagine any anger as if it’s standing before you and battle it until it disappears then forgive it, whether it’s a person, an illness, or an experience. Just because you forgive doesn’t mean that you have to subject yourself to any further drama or pain by keeping them or the pain in your life. If you were abused or harmed in any way, forgive the abuser then forget the judgment. Don’t be a victim because what happened is in the past. Write it down succinctly then tear it up. It’s not you anymore. Let your resilience express gratitude for what the person, illness, or experience has taught you, built you up, made you the best self that you are despite their effect on your life.

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Heal the bad feelings by meditating, doing yoga, or by doing a body scan which is where you lie down and focus on one part of the body and acknowledge how it feels. Start with your head and go to toes and really feel the tension, sadness, or anger and release it. Move onward and upward and refuse to neglect yourself anymore, instead express yourself. Sit with dignity!

Book review: Clean by Amy Reed

Simon Pulse, 2011

Clean by Amy Reed

This YA novel is told with a five-person narrative in addition to the patients’ detailed personal essays and compelling substance abuse questionnaires. While I both like to read and write from alternate viewpoints, I was concerned five would be too much but then remembered how much I enjoyed The Poisonwood Bible. That was also five perspectives being the mother and the four daughters caught up in the Belgian Congo in 1959. Well besides both being five viewpoints, they couldn’t be any more different. These five patients in a rehab center come together not on their own accord but end up enhancing the lives of the other characters, if only for a brief moment in time.

Olivia, Kelly, Christopher, Jason, and Eva have hit the rock bottom of addiction. The individual voices were unique, honest and intriguing and portrayed their distinct frame of minds as they confronted their pasts amidst forced introspection in this new group of strangers. The difficult, often gut-wrenching concepts of the danger of drugs and the necessity of help were well written, albeit occasionally choppy because of the format. But it was heartening to know that there is hope out there, so you don’t have to be alone once they stopped resisting treatment as is common with teens.

All in all, the characters were relatable in this fast-moving story about hope and guidance despite bad backgrounds and experiences. It was reminiscent of the 1985 teen movie, The Breakfast Club as to how the five teens were thrown together, not knowing they needed one another and ultimately touched each other’s lives amidst the harrowing nature of life’s circumstances and sometimes obstacles.

Until my next post, why not check out my YA novels about mental illness, my memoirs, or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.

Book review: When We Collided by Emery Lord

Bloomsbury, 2016

In this intensely romantic and emotional rollercoaster of a story, Vivi is the type of girl who wants to live her life to the fullest and to record her passage through life, but she has a disease: bipolar disorder. Although she wants to live, the treatment leaves her to be miserable and so she stops taking her medications. Jonah is a boy who lost his father to a heart attack. He and his two older brothers have to take care of the house and their three little brothers. Jonah doesn’t really get to experience everything other kids his age do while Vivi does whatever she possibly can. Throughout the novel, the two characters learn a lot from each other and learn to engage in a lot of new things they usually wouldn’t.

This YA novel was filled with many moments of suspense and joy as it brought out so many different perceptions of each character and overall was just a very exciting read as its storyline is magnificent with its appreciated details that take you into Vivi and Jonah’s world. This well-written experience about accepting yourself and helping others while continuing to live on even though things might not be at their best right now and taking life rain and shine. It’s about how sometimes even our scars can help others and give a little bit of light to those we meet. This book shows how lives can be messy but beautiful while still leaving an impact on so many others, too.

Enjoyed this post? Why not check out my YA novels about mental illness or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.

Book review: Haldol and Hyacinths by Melody Moezzi

A Bipolar Life

Avery, A member of Penguin Group, 2013

“People tend to look unfavorably upon the mentally ill, especially those of us who’ve been hospitalized. Losing your mind is indeed traumatizing but doing so in front of a supposedly sane audience is mortifying. It’s not like getting cancer. No one rallies around you or shaves her head in solidarity or brings you sweets. “Normals” (or “normies,” as some of us “crazies” affectionately refer to them) feel uneasy around those of us who’ve lost a grip on reality. Perhaps they’re afraid we might attack them or drool on them or, worse yet, suck them into our alternate universe where slitting your wrists and talking to phantoms seem perfectly rational.” ― Melody Moezzi

Haldol and Hyacinths, is a powerful, funny, and moving narrative that pays tribute to the healing power of hope and humor, by writer Melody Moezzi, an Iranian American and Muslim, who speaks out against the stigma surrounding bipolar disorder. She certainly doesn’t fit the highly inaccurate stereotype of someone with mental illness.

“A lot of ways, when you are labeled with something like manic depression or schizophrenia. That label carries so much weight and you take it on as part of your identity in a way that can be really harmful.” Moezzi said.

She isn’t disabled or violent or contagious. Melody is an attorney with a Master’s degree in Public Health. She is an award-winning author who has made many national and international media appearances. Many people who suffer from mental illnesses are highly educated, high functioning individuals.

For Moezzi, and only after years of mania and depression, was she successfully diagnosed in 2008 and subsequently, found access to the right treatment plan and medication.  Bipolar disorder can be wrought with hallucinations, delusions, extremes highs or lows in mood, and impulsivity. In her case, such impulses led to a suicide attempt. But after years of improper diagnoses, medications, and humiliating, dehumanizing inpatient psychiatric hospitalizations, medication, therapy, and having a partner that helped her focus on her full self she managed her illness and found her calling to tell her powerful story. It took a lot of bravery, and humor, for Melody to share her story.  She is quick to point out the importance of speaking, writing, and living authentically.

It was exciting, interesting, and excellent glimpse into the life and mind of an extraordinary young woman with an unfortunate mental disorder.

Enjoyed this post? Why not check out my YA novels or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.

Book review: This Song Will Save Your Life by Leila Sales

Farrar Straus Giroux, 2013

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This book is about a misfit trying to find her place in the world. For most of her life, Elise has been an outsider when it comes to making friends. So the summer before her sophomore year, Elise uses current trends and fashion in one last attempt to be accepted by her peers. However, it goes horribly wrong, and Elise attempts suicide but realizes that she isn’t serious about it. When Elise, an avid music lover, has trouble sleeping, she goes on long walks, and one night she happens upon a hidden dance club. Elise feels that she has finally found a place to fit in with the kids in the club in addition to the DJ playing the music.

Elise’s road to acceptance and freedom isn’t smooth, and through the bumps along the way she finally finds who she’s meant to be. Elise is smart and funny and very relatable. She is so real and suffers from such a painful combination of self-scrutiny, naivety about others, and deep convictions about what’s really important in life and who is really on her side, half of which are wrong. Most of her observations and sentiments are spot on, though some of her interactions with her family seem to be her pretending to be someone else. It does deal with tough subjects of suicide, fitting in and cyber bullying in a moving, insightful, inspiring and often comedic way.

Elise’s love of music is a huge part of her story, and there are many references to bands and songs throughout, so some teens or twenty-somethings will love it. Older readers might not be interested enough to follow Elise on her journey of self-acceptance. Others will see it as a brilliant story about a young woman trying to find where she fits in the world, discovering her talents & joy through music and finding her own sense of community which will make it a fun, inspiring read.

Enjoyed this post? Why not check out my YA novels or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.

Book review: All the Things We Never Said by Yasmin Rahman

Hot Key, 2019

As soon as I read the subject matter of this boldly designed book, I knew that I had to devour it. It’s a character driven; UK Young Adult contemporary novel based on mental health. Not to be disappointed when I began reading, I was drawn into the stories of the three girls. I loved the author’s note at the beginning which really set the tone for the book.

The book tells the story of 3 young girls from 3 very different lives, but they all have one sad fact in common, the want to die.  As a result the girls each sign up to a website that is designed to pair people with other people who want to die. But it is this pack that brings the 3 girls together and allows them to find the support that they each needed. 

As I learnt more about why Mehreen, Olivia and Cara had joined MementoMori. I really began to connect and empathize with the diverse characters which weren’t the sole focus of the story and didn’t define the characters entirely. Mehreen’s religion was an important factor, but she was so much more than just that and was such a real character that, despite me being from a totally different background, I could relate. I found it to be the same with all the characters and that was something that I think Yasmin really excelled at with this novel and its unusual typeface

So, the website sets a time place and course of death for the girls, and as the date of termination (as it is referred to) approaches the girls have to complete a task that is set and send photographic proof. The first 2 tasks the girls do with easy, but it is when the 3rd task arrives that the girls admit that they have changed their minds. 

The problem is the website doesn’t want to let the girls out. After all, they signed up and agreed to the terms and conditions. Pushing the girls to their breaking point the girls begin to crumble and turn on each other.  

This is an interesting book, but as I first mentioned you need to be careful when reading this story as it is an emotional and mental journey. It has to be noted that this book contains many triggers, for those that vulnerable to such material. Topics touched upon, besides suicide, include self-harm, rape and severe anxiety and depression. I personally was okay with all of these and found that they were handled very sensitively and not in a way that made for uncomfortable reading.

All the Things We Never Said is not a typical YA book. I believe that it is a book that can help to open dialogue and get people talking about their feelings and issues, instead of hiding behind a mask that so many people use today to hide how they are truly feeling.

This book highlights the importance of speaking, talking about your problems, and how you are feeling. As it is through these actions, the characters realize that they are not alone and that the simple act of talking to someone openly and honestly can change your perspective.

An audiobook is also available for those that may have issues with the typeface.

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Lessen Depression through Thought Control

Depressive thinking is unrealistic and unfair:
1. unrealistic negative thoughts about your situation
2. unfair negative thoughts about yourself
3. unrealistic negative thoughts about your future

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The plan should be to replace depressive thinking with realistic thinking.

First, is spotting depressive thoughts: Here are the most common types of depressive thinking:

1. all or nothing: seeing situations as totally one way or the other.

2. perfectionism: where you think that you have to be the best in the situation, or it means that you failed.

3. overgeneralizing: based on one negative event, you expect that things will continue to go wrong; or based on one negative fact, you assume that everything else in the situation is negative.

4. labeling: talking oneself in a harsh way, calling yourself names like “loser”, or whatever the worst insults are for you. This kind of self-labeling is unfair.

5. exaggerating: exaggerating risks and expect the worst possible thing to happen.

6. mind-reading: imagining that other people are criticizing or rejecting you, even when you don’t have any real reason to think that.

7. filtering: paying close attention to events that are disappointing or to critical comments from others. When something positive happens, you ignore it and you treat praise as unimportant

Realistic thinking is:
1. accurate about your situation, seeing things clearly as they are;
2. fair about yourself, looking in a balanced way at the positive and negatives in your life;
3. accurate about your future, not exaggerating bad outcomes.

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Altering depressive thoughts by asking yourself these realistic questions: (preferably on paper because it helps in seeing it clearly):

  • What proof do I have? Would most people agree with this thought?
  • If not, what would be a more realistic thought?
  • Can I get more proof, like asking someone about the situation?
  • What would I say to a friend in a similar situation?
  • What is a less extreme way of looking at the situation?
  • What will happen if I think this way? Is there another way of thinking that is more encouraging or useful?

Enjoyed this post? Why not check out my YA novels or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.